My little man, he's funny. He doesn't mean to be funny, doesn't do it on purpose, doesn't even know how funny he is.
I often post his funnies as my facebook status and I have had some people suggest I should be writing them down as keepsakes.
So yesterday, I went through all my facebook status updates ever (it was a long process, I don't recommend it) and wrote them all down.
But I'm horrible about keeping scrapbooks and note pads, so I thought I'd put them here.
Sit back, relax and enjoy. These are in no particular order.
"Mommy, I have to poop. You wanna come watch?"
"Mommy, you aren't listening!!!"
"Sorry Monkey, I was reading a letter. What did you need?"
"I need my water bottle"
"Ok, I'll be right there"
(Monkey walks off in a huff) "I swear to God no one listens to me in this house"
" Mama, my tummy hurts."
"Ok, drink some water. Here you go."
"Uh, no Mama. I need some chocolate from my window (advent calendar). Only chocolate can make my tummy feel ALLLLLLLLLL better! (huge grin on his face). Go get me one Mama! It is up there."
"Little Lady, you don't eat paper! Them made from trees and if you eat trees then a tree will grow in you like a seed. (pauses to think) Then you have sticks and leaves out your ears and you look like a tree. (looks in her ears) Maybe we can have a bird them! You can sit on the balcony! Mommy!!!!! (I always tell him that birds belong in trees and not in cages and that is why we can't have a bird as a pet)
Monkey to 10 month old his sister, who was playing with some of his CARS toys "Little lady, you can't have these. You still too whittle. But when you get bigger, you can play with them. Well, maybe not, but you can play with my other toys. Well, maybe not either. I know! You can ask Santa for some toys. Hold on, I'll get you a pencil."
I gave Monkey a hug and told him I loved him. He looks at me with a big smile and says "Mama, I love my bulldozer. Look at the wheels, aren't they beautiful!?"
After checking himself out in the bathroom mirror, he turns to me and says "Hey Mama! I'm pretty handsome today!"
"Mana, I want to make this truck" (shows me a megabloks picture)
"We don't have that one Monkey."
"Dat's okay Mama, we can ask Santa for it!"
"Oh, Santa won't be coming for a long while yet."
Monkey stops to think... "That's ok Mama, you call him and tell him to come tomorrow.He can have breakfast with me!!!! (passes me the phone) Call him. And tell him to pack his jammies... and a toothbrush!"
"Mama, my stomach hurts. Can I have a band-aid please?"
Monkey is walking around the house with a box on his head saying "Take me to your leader" over and over again.
"Good job peeing Mama! Here, you get a Smartie!!! What colour to do you want?"
I just told Monkey that he has ants in his pants. Now he is all worried and won't put his shorts back on. He keeps on picking them up and looking in them, looking for the ants.
While listening to Johnny Cash, Monkey walks up to the speaker and listens for a while. "Mommy, I think this singer has a cold. His voice is all grumbly."
Monkey is sitting on the couch at the top of his lungs, holding his ears shut. When I asked him why he was holding his ears he said, "Mommy, I singing too loud. It hurts my ears!". He then continued to sign even louder.
Monkey just came up to me and said "Mommy, I'm very frustrated! This puzzle is NOT behaving and if it doesn't start soon, I'm putting it back in the box!" Exit frustrated little man stomping his feet.
After a visit to a farm where all the chickens had names, we came home and started making dinner, chicken burgers. When my husband came home and asked what was for dinner, Monkey man says "Penny!" (one of the chicken's names).